The Messy Middle of Marriage

The messy middle of marriage..

I've been speaking to a lot of women lately around marriage and how rarely we talk about what it really takes to be in a committed relationship.

There is so much talk about finding your person and not much talked about once you do, the work it takes to keep a relationship going and feeling alive.

I was speaking to one of my mentors the other day who has been married 37 years. She said to me, “my husband and I have had so many different versions of our marriage.” That really hit me in a new way. Of course, as we grow with another human in partnership that partnership will change.

But man is that deeply uncomfortable and scary in moments. Change is scary. And being it’s not talked about it can feel like there’s something wrong. That is why I think it’s so important to talk about how normal it is to feel moments of disconnection, moments of thinking “man would this be easier on my own?” the moments of feeling messy.

It takes a lot of attention, outside support, constant communication and commitment to keep a relationship alive.

I have found it is super challenging to be in a relationship without outside support. Whether that is therapy, coaching, community. Whatever it is, knowing you don’t have to do this alone.

Sending so much love to those in relationships. I know the courage and daily commitment it takes. You’re amazing.